People can be so weird.

People crave the attention of those who never see them. And shirk the affection of those who do.

They deeply desire to be accepted by those who look down upon them, treat them like trash, and all around just can’t stand them.

You will see people bending over backwards, tap dancing and shucking and jiving for people who barely notice them.

All the while ignoring the love of constant family and friends.

It’s annoying to say the least.

But it’s a part of humanity I’ve grown accustomed to in 2016.

To be honest, it saddens me to see in others and in myself.

Why is it that we so want the love of those who treat us as if we’re unlovable? 

Why is their rejection more impactful than the steady love we experience? 

I’ve grown weary.

Of remaining steady in loving those who crave chaos.

I’ve grown sad.

From seeing myself bend and twist my personality and behaviors in hopes of acceptance only to learn it will never be enough. 

And now I’m done.

Not with loving and caring for those in my life. But I’m done with using that love and care to bring forth specific outcomes.

I’m done with hoping my love will be a savior.

It never will be.

People need a Savior. We need Jesus.

To crush the chaos we crave and calibrate us to his acceptance and grace.

And to learn to appreciate the blessing that comes in the steady love Jesus and genuine family, friends, and even boo thangs provide. 

Hope this helps!

Ambini