I was encouraged to write this, so here I am.

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years, and I am engaged (‼️🤸🏿‍♀️🤗).

If you know me well, you’d know that a long-term relationship has been a deep, deep longing of my heart for many years.

And now I have it.

So much of what I have to say about being in a relationship is this: it is a deeply humbling experience.

When you are in true relationship with someone, there is so much of you that is challenged, revealed, discussed, and thankfully, embraced.

I now know so much of what I thought relationships were or should be was predicated on pretense and really pretending.

The pretense of being ok. Pretending to have health and strength and wellness and it all together.

But, what happens when relationships start to reveal your brokenness, your not okay-ness?

Does the bond make space for that?

I’m learning the answer can grow to be yes.

You and your partner can shift and scoot over long-held ideals to establish better mutual values.

Because the pressure of “should be” will restrict you from living in the freedom of what “could be”.

And major major disclaimer: I don’t have ANY of this stuff figured out.

But I’m open to learning.

Yes, I am engaged to a man.

But I’m also engaged in doing the hard work of relationships.

In extending more grace to myself and my partner.

In embracing difference.

In deep cleaning the messiness.

And inviting Jesus into it all.

So whether you are engaged or not, I hope you gain the courage to engage in the work of relating better with those you love.

Hope this helps!

Ambini

P.S. On a practical note, a communication tool I’ve personally used (with success 🙌🏿) is the Clearing Structure by the Anatomy of Marriage team. – https://anatomyofmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Clearing-Structure.pdf