When I was 8, I would put on shimmery lip glosses, glittery nail polish, and blue hair mascara (you read that correctly). All in the name of beauty. Albeit I was wearing filthy sneakers and my hair was a mess, I made the effort to be beautiful.

At home, I felt perfect. I knew I was beautiful. My parents kissed me, hugged me, loved me, and told me I was beautiful. Before and after my “beauty costumes”, they called me beautiful.

It was when I went outside my home that things changed. Outside my beauty was contentious. It was debatable. The judges had yet to turn their number cards around.

It was something I felt and knew, but something many didn’t agree with. So I kept it to myself. Outside, I was too dark, too chubby, too short, etc. According to them, I had all the ingredients for a big cake of ugly.

I made space in my heart to accept that others would consider me less than beautiful. This space is relatively small and takes up about 5% of my heart volume. But, it’s there.

I’m dusting off the cobwebs in that space, taking inventory of what’s on the old bookshelves, and pulling out what’s in the mud closet of that space. As tiny as it is, it has held a lot.

Quiet confidence. That’s what I’ve used to combat the dust bunnies of insecurity, doubt, and feeling ugly that drift up from that space and settle into my life. Quiet confidence is the act of pulling the Greater Truth out of your reality.

Truth: Non-consequential person thinks you are ugly because you are dark. Greater truth: Most Consequential Person has called you beautiful before the foundation of the earth.

And here’s some reality: beauty is a verb. It’s never been what you wear, your complexion, or even your blue hair mascara. It’s an act. Beauty is the way we treat God, others, and ourselves.

So ‘gwan star! Even on your fright fest days, when you feel like a monster, be beautiful. Act beautifully.

What do you do to combat feeling less than beautiful? Send me a note (theambini@gmail.com) or leave a comment.

Hope this helps!

Ambini