My reaction to it is best illustrated as a wet cat. I recoil, retreat, and look disheveled. I never get accustomed to it. I never feel okay about it. And, it just hurts.

It is rejection.

It is all too familiar to me. I’ve experienced it in many forms (guys, grad school, a fellowship), but the aftermath is the same. Pain.

Rejection is one of those things I can easily explain when it happens to someone else. My encouragements to the “rejected one” are fast and cheap: “You deserve better.” “It’s their loss.” “Someone/something better is out there for you.” All true statements, but they’re never quite enough.

But when I’m  the rejected party, rejection often feels like confirmation of how I see myself. It’s a replay of the ballad that’s been playing in my ears for years: “You don’t deserve that.” Sadly, rejection fits.

Worse than outright rejection is to be once accepted. To be chosen and then discarded. To be seen and then ignored. To be known and then purposefully un-known. To be loved and then un-loved.

You never quite shake your previous position.

As ugly as rejection is, there’s a beauty that lies within it. It’s the kind of beauty that you don’t see at first glance. It’s like that person you have to get to know for awhile before his beauty begins to unveil. That’s how rejection is.

And here’s the beauty that can be found in rejection: rejection poses a hard question.

It gently asks us, “So what will you do now?”

My answer to that is make your next steps be louder than that ugly rejection ballad.

Hope this helps!

Ambini

What do you do after experiencing ugly rejection? Send me a note at (theambini@gmail.com) or leave a comment.